Welcome, you've stumbled across the Norton Zoo, a wildlife sanctuary situated in the middle of upstate New York. Situated on a lush plantation of approximately 500 acres, a collection of exotic and dangerous animals is housed in our state of the art facility. Here is a brief description of some of our more popular exhibits.

Attack Cat Butter (Felinus Furrious) We knew that this cat would be a good hunter from when she was a kitten, when we adopted her from an ASPCA. She immediately grabbed onto her Monkius prey, and bear-hugged her. In the meanwhile, she's been focusing on building up bulk to give her the edge that she needs in hunting for her new favorite prey, cute garage mice. She was named primarily as a joke, but the joke has been on us, because she is now about one and a half the size of Attack Cat Kujo.

Dan (monkius sillius) One of the larger animals in the collection. Although this creature is inherently dim witted, this particular specimen has been trained well enough to shovel the feces of some of the other animals in the zoo (see attack cats below).

********* (monkius alexius) This little beastie has been growing rather quickly since his arrival. Currently, he can be found manipulating small reproductions of automobiles and locomotives.

Attack Cat Kujo (felinius moochius) This cat comes from the urban jungle of philadelpha. He's ruthless is stalking his prey of the monkius family. Through shear determination, he jumps onto the chest of his victoms, and headbutts them until he is victorius. He's named after a famous literary dog Cujo, but the spelling has been corrected. It seems that Stephen King has a bad habit of spelling names wrong in his work, take "Carrie" for example.

Kari (monkius reclusivus) A very reclusive animal. When pregnant, it is almost impossible to take a picture of this creature. As a result, an artist's depiction must be used, similar to a courtroom artist. However, in this case, the artist lacks almost all skill necessary to convery basically any physical characteristic. Note the presence of a skirt in the drawing, yet skirts very rarely seen anywhere near this animal.

****** (monkius jackius) This is the most recent species, bred right here in the Norton Zoo. We don't know all that much about him yet, but we've dedicated a team of researchers to find out as much as we can.

Tank of Man-Eating Fish (Ageius of Aquarius) The large walk-in aquarium, holding approximately 20,000 gallons of water, houses approximately 10 fish. Every day, a drop of human blood is added to the tank to ensure that they have a taste for human flesh. If one of the monkius species walks in front of the tank, they will follow them around, trying get a meal.

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Last updated: 01st June 2023, 21:10

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